Relationships are a crucial part of our lives, providing love, support, and a sense of belonging. However, managing these relationships can be challenging, especially when emotions run high and communication breaks down. Can we improve our connections with mindful relationships?
Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help us to create healthier, more fulfilling relationships by teaching us to be present in the moment and better understand our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as those of others.
The Moment that Made Everything Change
I was having a really hard time with my partner and kept feeling angry all the time. I felt like I couldn't keep up with life and what was happening around me.
I would rush through my morning routine, feeling like I never had enough time to get everything done. I would snap at my partner for small things, like not making the bed or leaving their shoes in the middle of the room.
I would then carry that anger with me throughout the day, constantly feeling on-edge and irritable. When I would return home from work. I would feel exhausted and overwhelmed, and I would take that out on my partner too.
We would argue and fight, both of us feeling hurt and misunderstood. We wouldn't be able to communicate effectively, and we would end up feeling even more disconnected. I almost thought we were going to break up because I didn't know how to change that. I was too stuck in my head.
Then, I was re-introduced to the concept of mindfulness while taking a yoga class that I randomly walked into. For once the teacher actually explained what mindfulness was instead of just telling us to "be mindful".
What Does it Mean to Have Mindful Relationships?
Mindful relationships are built on a foundation of awareness, empathy, and compassion. It involves being present in the moment and paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as those of others right as they are happening.
It is about being self-aware enough to take a pause when things feel off, and scan yourself internally before projecting externally.
By practicing mindfulness, we can gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our relationships, leading to stronger and more meaningful connections.
The Benefits of Mindful Relationships
Studies suggest there are many benefits of building mindful relationships. Aside from the overarching general acceptance of each other as romantic partners, mindfulness practice incorporated into relationships of all types include the following advantages over those without:
- Improved Communication: Mindfulness helps us to better understand our own thoughts and feelings, as well as those of others. This improved self-awareness and empathy can lead to more effective communication and peaceful conflict resolution.
- Deeper Understanding: Practicing mindfulness can help us gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and others, leading to more fulfilling relationships. It allows us to see things from different perspectives and appreciate the complexities of human relationships.
- Increased Happiness: Mindful relationships can bring more happiness and fulfillment into our lives. By being more present and intentional in our connections with others, we can enjoy deeper and more meaningful relationships, leading to increased satisfaction and joy.
- Reduced Stress: Mindfulness can also help reduce stress and anxiety in relationships. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and feelings, we can learn to manage them more effectively, leading to fewer conflicts and less stress.
Mindfulness is an evidence-backed tool you can use every day to improve your physical, mental, and spiritual health. When you live mindfully, you will begin to see opportunity where it wasn't before, as you'll be in the present moment to make the best decisions when they count the most.
How to Cultivate Mindful Relationships
- Practice Mindfulness in Daily Life: Incorporating mindfulness into your daily life can include practices such as meditation, yoga, walking, and journaling. As you do these types of practices, it allows you to tune into your own emotional state of what you are feeling and you will find it easier to apply awareness to your external relationships because you have taken care and tended to your own personal needs.
- Turn Inward on Your Own Relationship with Self: If you are feeling a strong emotional state arise within yourself whether alone or around some one, your instinct may be to turn away from the challenge. Instead, mindful relationship habits like taking a few deep breaths allows you to soften the mind and pay attention to sensations and the stories that you are telling yourself in your mind. Ask yourself if the stories are true, thinking ahead to the future, or thinking in the past. By focusing on own needs, dreams and goals allows you to express yourself in a new way.
- Create Space: When emotional states are high whether in yourself or talking with some one else, notice the emotional state you are experiencing and remove the sense of "I" from your observation. For example, for "I am frustrated" you can recognize and note "anger" is being felt and observed from your human experience.
- Let go of Toxic People: Take inventory of the people in your life and all the relationships. It is important to do this because they can either be sources of nourishment or drain us. Ask yourself: Who makes me feel safe? Comfortable? Confident? Supported wholeheartedly in my decisions and actions? Having strong relationships with these people can be the key ingredient that sparks joy from within. The relationships in which make you feel fully supported should receive priority or extra tender care. For those connections not quite as positive you can consider sending them loving thoughts from afar, not engage with them outside of "have to" events, or have that hard conversation about how you feel the relationship is not an equal balance.
- Focus on Similarities: When creating a greater sense of self you have to be mindful of others and consider what we share are human beings. Finding that common ground, even with people you do not see eye to eye with helps you to celebrate the understanding that comes from diving deep into humanity, to discover what truly unites us as people around the globe.
- Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues: Pay attention to nonverbal cues, such as body language, tone of voice and facial expressions in your interactions with others. This can help you better understand their thoughts and feelings and respond in a more compassionate way.
- Practice Active Listening: When in conversation with others, make an effort to actively listen to what they're saying. Avoid distractions like your phone and give them your full attention, showing that you value and care about what they have to say. Use the the acronym LISTEN to help determine how active you are in within a conversation to successfully allow the speaker to feel like they are being heard.
- Be Present in the Moment: Focus on being fully present in the moment, rather than getting caught up in your thoughts or worries. If you find yourself getting lost in thought, focus breath for a few moments, deeply inhaling allowing more oxygen to your brain. This will allow you to better understand and connect with others, leading to stronger and more fulfilling relationships.
- Practice Gratitude: Cultivate an attitude of gratitude towards your relationships. Express your appreciation for the people in your life and the role they play in your happiness and well-being. Even what may be small can be big when practicing gratitude. For example, moments of gratitude anytime some one does a kind gesture like giving or make you a cup of coffee, your partner letting you choose what movie to watch, a stranger complimenting your outfit, receiving a home made gift, some one asking you to meet up, or giving you a gift. The list here is endless!
- Build Trust without Activating Self Judgment: In all your most meaningful relationships, allow curiosity to create a space of trust. Trust can be gained by asking simple questions like: How was your day? What did you eat for lunch? How was that new coffee you got? Did you get a chance to try out that new meditation? What was your favorite part of the day? How can I help make your day better?. By asking simple questions can allow yourself relationships with others feel listened and cared for in the moment.
Mindfulness Techniques Can Transform Your Relationship
With mindfulness techniques, my day now starts with giving myself one hour every morning to do anything mindful without looking at my phone.
This may include taking a few deep breaths, grabbing my journal and setting an intention.
I practice yoga and meditation in the morning to help calm my mind and release any tension in my body.
I take time to journal and reflect on my feelings, allowing myself to turn inward and understand what's going on inside me. Throughout the day, I practice active listening and pay attention to nonverbal cues, helping me connect more deeply with my partner.
I create space between me and the emotions I feel, allowing myself to let go of any toxic relationships or negative thoughts so I can really thrive on my goals.
I also practice gratitude for the little things, like a warm cup of coffee or a beautiful sunrise. When I come home from work, I am more present and centered, able to communicate effectively with my partner. We are able to work through any issues that come up, and we feel more connected and understood now that we've begun cultivating mindful relationships.
Raise Better Kids by Being a Mindful Parent
Raising happy and healthy kids is without a doubt, one of the most challenging roles you'll ever face. Sure, most people have children and they end up alright, right?
It really takes a lot of deliberate negligence to permanently harm a child, but raising kind and courteous children who speak their mind and understand their place in the world is a daunting task. After all, we all want what's best for them, but do we truly know what is best for our children if we are not mindful of our own needs?
Fortunately, there are techniques you can try to build better relationships with your children, and even your parents. Mindful parenting can be an incredible gift to pass down to your children as their grow up.
FAQs
What is mindfulness?
Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the moment and paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, without judgment. It's a tool for increased self-awareness and a way to cultivate greater empathy and compassion in relationships.
How does mindfulness improve relationships?
By being mindful in our interactions with others, we can better understand our own thoughts and feelings, as well as those of others. This improved self-awareness and empathy can lead to better communication, deeper understanding, increased
How do I incorporate mindfulness into my relationships?
To cultivate mindful relationships, you can start by incorporating mindfulness into your daily life, paying attention to nonverbal cues in your interactions, practicing active listening, being fully present in the moment, and expressing gratitude towards your relationships.
FINAL THOUGHTS
In conclusion, mindful relationships are a key aspect of our lives, providing love, support, and a sense of belonging. By incorporating mindfulness into our interactions with others, we can develop healthier and more fulfilling connections, leading to increased happiness and fulfillment.
Mindfulness can improve communication, deepen understanding, and reduce stress in relationships. Whether you are just starting out or looking to enhance your existing relationships, there are many ways to cultivate mindfulness and experience the benefits of this powerful tool.
So why not start today and begin building more mindful connections with the people you care about most?